Feminist friend says

"Sexual assertiveness is great! I think it is admirable to be upfront with partners and potential partners about one's interest, in the appropriate situations and with full, respectful acknowledgement of their free will. "

Well. It's great when you're a woman, its not great if you're a man (under feminism). Compare:

1) You're fat, unattractive to the opposite sex, unhappy, lack of self esteem, angry about your state and the lack of attention opposite gender, but not doing anything other than whining about it:

- If you're a woman, my sympathies go to you. Know you're a real woman and anyone who doesnt get a boner with you is just a pathetic loser. You get Dove campaigns, support from the Big Media, "everyone deserves to be attractive", "you're beautiful no matter what they say", "stop fat shaming", "down with the male gaze". Men are of course pigs for not liking you and should be shamed into submission, they probably just hate women, specially beautiful women like you. If you try to flirt out of your league sometimes you'll get rejected, sometimes mocked at, and sometimes you'll get laid. So keep at it and never change, we'll instead change society to fit your needs.

- If you're a man, oh you little floppy little whiny dick. You're an excuse of a person. Forget the Dove campaigns, and all you get from Big Media is that you're not a "real man", you're not "entitled" and of course dont "deserve" sex, appreciation nor love. Women are advised never to settle for you and are already informed that behind your constant sobbing there's a dangerous rapist who wants nothing but to hurt women. If you try to flirt out of your league get ready to be called a harasser and be made a public example of. You are the cancer of this society. Fucking kill yourself already.

Feminist equality. Continues:

Winners Losers And Entitlement

1.1) You are more attractive than most, have a better job than most, have more confidence than most, you have options:

- If you're a woman, there you go, you have it all!. Look for a man who is your "equal", which means he's as attractive and as successful as you are OR MORE. Never less, never settle for less. If a man doesnt like you he's just intimidated by your strength and superior intellect. Make sure every relationship happens exclusively under your terms, you have the right to be attracted to whoever you want, and the right to indulge on it, for as long as you want.

- If you're a man, oh boy. First, half your success is underserved and gained through unearned male privileges, so shame on you, and you're probably taking the spot of a more qualified woman, shame on you again. Of course from this situation of unnearned power you're now going to abuse your position and prey on defenseless women by objetifying them and treating them as mere sexual objects, because you're a man and that's what men do. Then when you set a relationship under your terms, you're actually abusing the woman by cohercing her freedom, dont you realize?. And if you like young fertile women you're a pig. Im sorry.

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Feminist equality. Next case:

2) You're sexually non-assertive and take the "Nice" approach. You take a "friends first" approach because you fear rejection, and prefer to build frienship-emotional bonds before coming out and expressing romantic interest, or maybe you end up being a fuckbudy but you secretely want "more":

- If you're a woman, we feel your pain. These bastard men dont deserve you. Know you're being abused by a taker, cut contact, or demand that the relationship meets your needs. Dont be a pushover. Also pay attention that any sexual exchange that happens while you want something else, or just "more" may be, and probably is, rape.

- If you're a man, you're not "Nice" at all. You're just another variation of male entitlement and you should be reported. Newsflash, you're not entitled to love, sex or relationships, and your mere existence is scary. Stop trying to manipulating women into liking you. "Nice" guys my ass.

Feminist equality. Continues:

2.1) You're sexually assertive in a physical way. You grab the people you are attracted to, initiate contact, escalate, go for the kiss, you move fast and direct, or slow and indirect, but always forward and unapologetic:

- If you're a woman, you go grrll. You're a symbol of the sexually empowered strong woman TM. More power to you! show them who's the boss!

- If you're a man, wtf dude!? you should be stopped in your borderline rapist lifestyle. You're a symbol of the systemic rape culture society which sees women as nothing but sexual objects and reduces them to non-agents, mere fuckholes. Under California law all and every of your "sexual initiatives" are now factual sexual assaults because you didnt bother to ask for permission each time. Please call a neighbor so they report you, or just surrender yourself if you call yourself a real man LOL. See you in jail, fucker, I hope you get ass raped.

Hello Feminist equality. Continues:

2.2) You think it's funny when the opposite sex is the recipient of sexual violence. This might include punches / kicks on the genitalia, cutting genitalia, rape jokes, sexual shaming, some or all of the above:

- If you're a woman, there's nothing wrong with you. Cut a dick and you can make yourself into a celebrity. Punish the bastards! Enough with centuries of taking it! time to give it back! HAR HAR! ROAR!

- If you're a man, YOU are the problem, YOU should be lectured, you misogynistic piece of shit. You think it's funny when a woman suffers?!! I mean. WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Feminism equality. Continues:

2.3) You think its fine to be verbal and loud about the sexual characteristics / sexy qualities of people from the opposite sex.

- If you're a woman, there's nothing wrong with you. Women can and should express their sexual desires, just like a man! do it in the street, bars, do it on live TV, write in magazines about it. Dont let anyone intimidate you.

- If you're a man, harassment is never tolerable. Period. I cant repeat this enough. STOP HARASSMENT!

Feminism equality. Continues:

2.4) You think its fine to be attracted by the opposite sex. You like young toned attractive bodies, over older unfit bodies.

- If you're a woman, you're a human, you have sexual needs, duh. You like what you like. Why are you bringing this up? young mature men are hawt, older men are creepy.

- If you're a man, your sexual "needs" are not welcome and they are frankly disgusting and totally uncalled for, dude. Who gave you the right to determine who's attractive and who's not anyway?

Feminism equality. Continues:

2.5) You're jealous.

- If you're a woman, keep an eye on him or he might cheat. Actually I'd be a good idea to keep a couple of exes at short distance. Fight fire with fire.

- If you're a man, awww your poorly developed masculine insecurity (yes doesnt make sense but you deserve it) cannot take it when she's more socially adept than you are? stop your female body controlling abusive ways. Just stop it.

Feminism equality. Continues:

2.6) You're fooling around sexually. Sometimes you go to bars, get drunk, get laid. While drunk, sometimes you have sex with people you dont like that much and regret it, sometimes you have amazing sex and meet wonderful people and form real relationships. Regardless: - If you're a woman, you got raped. It doesnt matter if you dont consider it so. YOU GOT RAPED. Do SOMETHING about it. If not for yourself for other women. Make the Men PAY. Look deep and long at every sexual contact you've had along the years. Yes even with long lasting love partners. Was there ANY instance EVER where you were LESS than 100% comfortable with, or any move that happened sans your full frontal consent? any? yes? RAPE! there you go. Now please report and sent his sorry ass to jail or something. Stand up for yourself for once for God's sake.

- If you're a man, you're a rapist. Period. Rape rape. Rapist. RRRRRAAAPe. RaPe. Hang yourself from your dick an bleed to death. lalala. Ok you say you also were in situations where the woman was sexually aggressive, you were drunk, you regret sex, you were pushed, manipulated into it? what? do you think Im a fool? You're the one with the dick, you're the rapist. Enough said. Everyone knows no woman can EVER make a man do something he doesnt want to do, because the man is always the pusher and never the other way around, and because men are ALWAYS AGENTS and women are ALWAYS NON AGENTS (no, it's not sexist when I say so). Shut up and hang yourself already.

Feminist equality 101. Next case:

3) You're sexually attractive and sexually assertive and not interested in settling down for a relationship right now. You successfully attract members of the opposite sex, have fun and move on. You do this in college, at work, circle of friends, freely.

- If you're a woman, some people will call you a slut, but dont worry. These people are just woman-haters who want to bring down all women. Feminism will do slut walks to support you. If you did this at work and it caused problems, your male ex partners will be fired for sexual harassment if you deem so. If a mob harasses you a more powerful Big Media group of harassers will come in your rescue. We've got your back. You're safe.

- If you're a man, some people might call you a player. In case you didnt know, a "player" is nothing but a misogynist, maybe you didnt hear this before so you should be lectured about your "objectifying women" "controlling the female body" "rapey" ways. Truth is you're a broken, poisonous toxic reminder that there's a long way to go to end the oppression of women, and every woman who likes you (gosp) is a sad example of what an oppressed woman without self esteem looks like. Dont worry, we'll turn them against you. It wont be long before you're forced to apologize in public and cry while you admit of your sex addiction problem and go to therapy. While you're at it also get neutered, please.

In other words it's OK if a woman fucks like a man. A man who fucks like a man is still a problem. Side note, who are the women allowed to fuck, if all the men fucking around should be stopped?

Hello Feminist Equality. Next case:

4) You fell deeply in love and successfully paired / married / committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex:

- If you're a woman, what are you doing? marriage is slavery and you're selling yourself short. You dont need a man, you dont need to settle. Aight if you're going to do it anyway (sigh) be sure you're not chained nor constrained in any way by this man. You have no duties nor obligations to him. Specially not sexual (who has sex in marriage?). You were advised never to "settle" and this simple truth doesnt change by your relationship status: keep paying attention that he measures up to your standards and please dump him as soon as he doesnt. Keep a laundry list of checkboxes and make everything under your terms so you can evaluate him on a daily basis. Is he a real man? how about now? and now? When this relationship fails KNOW that is was all his fault. Say, if you're both violent, he's to blame. If you're violent but his not, his to blame for provoking you. If he cheats, he's an asshole. If you cheat he's still an asshole for putting you in a situation where you wanted to cheat, aka, not being as attractive as that other man. Dont worry, if you divorce you can make him pay for all of that. We got you covered.

- If you're a man, now probably you're thinking that you're so "lucky" because you fooled one woman into accepting your defective ways, by constantly kissing her ass and going in one knee and doing all kinds of promises of devotion. If only that would last, before you revert to being the natural pig you were born into. Truth is you NEED a human to be half a decent woman being but she doesnt NEED YOU. You think your partner has any obligations to you? what? the days of slavery are over my friend. Its YOU who has obligations now, and you better submit and do the checklist or she'll realize you're not a "real man" and dump your sorry pathetic ass. See, you're not "lucky", nor "the luckiest man in the world" because your "better half" loves you -- you dont deserve nor are entitled to any of that. You're just lucky that she's dumbed by love enough not to realize that you're still a man and therefore unworthy, and being with you is nothing but sacrifice, and the whole marriage institution is nothing but the exploitment of women for your sole benefit, and you dont deserve an inch of it. KNOW that if the relationship fails its because you failed to keep her sedated under your fake pretenses of "love" (everyone knows men dont have feelings). Say, if you're both violent obviously you're to blame, and if she's violent and you're not you're to blame for provoking her. If you cheat, you're an asshole. If she cheats you're an asshole, but who gave you rights over her sexuality anyway? she's not actually cheating because she never belonged to you, moron. Ah? you didnt get your emotional needs covered? boo-hoo you little whiny excuse of a man, you cant even play your own patriarchy oppressor role model right, and how dare you demand anything from a woman you entitled piece of shit. If you divorce I hope you get ripped off in court, as you surely will, and I hope you miss a payment so you become a "deadbeat" and are sent to jail where you belong.

Inst love great? Hello Feminist equality. Next?

5) You see problems in the culture re: imbalance of the sexes, and you want to talk about it:

- If you're a woman, please speak your mind out and loud. Know there's an army of white knight males ready to support you. If your complaints are generic and big enough, you'll get Big Media support and coverage, and in some occasions support from United Nations and what not. So speak up, proud and strong. We'll hear you. We'll take any criticism as proof that your reported abuse is right. We'll attack your attackers, and the more they respond to all of this the better, because it will be a demonstration of the problematics you brought up in the first place. More power to you!! You'll be made a symbol, do you like The Woman Who Spoke Out?

- If you're a man... still here? not dead yet? First shut up, you entitled whiny bitch basement dweller. Anyone who agrees with you is a rapist and nothing else, or a woman hater and nothing else, or a white (no, bringing up race is NOT racist when I do it) privileged hater of women WHY DO YOU MAKE ME KEEP TYPING THIS DOWN WHY DONT YOU DIE ALREADY I'll be damn if anyone hears you out. We'll take our time alerting everyone that you're the closest thing to Hitler we have in current times, so everyone can form their own preconceptions and knows what to think of you before they hear what you have to say if they are inclined to do so if at all. All your whining is ridicule because everyone knows you're a man thus you're privileged thus you've got NOTHING to complaint AT ALLLLL EEVVVEEERRR, and the fact that you even dare to ask for MORE just shows how ENTITLED you are. Well bad luck my friend, we dont give a fuck about you. Because you carry a dick. Yes you hear me. No, it's not sexist when I do it. YOU are the sexist. Nuff said. You're just a pariah. You'll be made a symbol: The Loser Who Should Have Stayed Quiet.

* * *

Editor's Note:

Half of you reading, the ones being irritated by my pointing this out, can you pause and try to imagine how would you feel if I was a woman and I was reporting patriarchy abuses, real or imagined? What's bubbling inside, and what's the cause? How poisoned are you if you cant detect the malfunction in a system that rewards and punishes people differently based on their gender? All while claiming that it's going for "equality"? how deep and rooted is your bigotry?

What I'd like to see is a society that treats everyone the same, or, more specifically, that has a clear, cut book of conduct that doesnt filter by gender (or race). In that sense, Im better informed and Im more of an actual Feminist than you are. Just that the "feminist" word is so polluted with bigotry that I dont want anything to do with it.

Think about it and see you next time.