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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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Add a Comment1230 Comments
i am in the same situation..a month and a half with no sex..he says he still loves me and its not me its him. but he says its broken. he took some horny goat weed sometime and ever since then its messed him up. is there a vitamin out there to take or something
December 16, 2009 - 9:19pmThis Comment
its been almost a year since my bf and i have had sex.....when we first got together we did it maybe4 or 5 times a day then he all of a sudden stopped. i personally believe he is gay but he denies it and says he wants to marry me. i know its not that we arent married that we arent having sex. im really not sure what else it could be. he used to be romantic and now .... nothing. :( ive been with him for almost ten years now and this has been going on for more than half our relationship. i love him and i want to be with him thats why i hold on. i also try talking to him about it but no luck. he says things will change but years go by and they dont. we have sex maybe once or twice a year thats it. and i feel like im forcing him when we do. i dont have any idea what to do about this but i know i dont want a relationship if we cant share affection. why am i still here? i love the man.....
December 16, 2009 - 12:50amThis Comment
i am having the same problem. i have a wonderful man in my life. i know he loves me. but i just have two things that bother me so much. 1. he never compliments me, i could be burning on fire and he wouldnt think i look hott. 2. everytime i ask for sex or wanting to satisfy him orally, (which i love to do). he turns me down. the thing is whenever he wants it, i never say no. i am thinking of telling him i dont want to have sex with him anymore. because i feel he when we do have sex, he is only doing to keep me around. i think he would be totally happy if we stopped having sex completely. i love him so much, and i want to show him and satisfy him. how can i make my man want to have more sex with me. PLEASE HELP ME.
December 13, 2009 - 10:45pmThis Comment
wow that is exactly how i feel
December 16, 2009 - 12:52amThis Comment
how old are the two of you? How long have you been together? Do you live together? My bf did the same thing to me, at first I would cry about it in front of him and he would just say he couldnt help it. He didnt seem to have much sympathy towards my feelings. I found the more I keep asking him about it he seemed to get mad and I ended up crying. So I just let it go. I stop asking about it and ACTED like it didnt bother me. (even though it did) I changed my attitude and told him that he was a great boyfriend and I was real happy to be his girlfriend in bed before we went to sleep. (feed him positive compliments)Then I would turn around and go to sleep. anyways it seemed to work. A couple of weeks later he wanted sex. And now we do. Maybe 1 or 2 times a week. In my opinion you have to show that you care about him for who he is. Sex is not as important as we think. If he is a great guy otherwise consider your self better off than other girls. Would you rather have awesome sex with a romantic guy who doesnt love you? I've had that before with my ex and believe me you dont want that! My bf and I have been together for over a year now.
December 14, 2009 - 8:43amThis Comment
I know how you fell my husband of 21 years doesnt have the urge to want sex anymore,He tells me he just dont care if he has any sex anymore,it is hurting me so bad.It use to be a couple times a day about everyday to 3 or 4 days a week to,once a week, now down to once every 2 to 3 weeks.I asked his doctor to take a testosterone test on him the next time he goes for his check up,he has alot of the symptoms,she said no problem,he should be at his prime,he's 40,I know I want it more than once in awhile.
December 12, 2009 - 7:01pmThis Comment
Since your husband is 40 years old, I'm wondering if he has spoken with his own doctor about getting tested? I'm surprised that his doctor would talk with you "behind his back", but hopefully his doctor will talk with him and ask him questions. Please know that your husband can refuse the tests, and I would think it is more important for you and him to talk about this, rather than you ask for tests on behalf of your husband?
Whether or not your husband's lack of desire is a medical condition or not, the important thing is that you feel he can communicate openly with you about his feelings, concerns and frustrations without feeling that you are trying to control the situation (am I reading too much into your ordering tests for your husband, without his permission??). I hope that he has some concern for you and your needs, and that in a healthy and happy marriage of 21 years you both know there are ebbs-and-flows, but that most importantly there is open, honest communication and you can both come up with solutions together (medical testing, couples counseling, etc) if the other one is unhappy.
December 13, 2009 - 1:34pmThis Comment
Nope, I am not. He is attracted to me, at least thats what I think. He was sick for real and thats why we didnt have a lot of sex. Now everything is okay and our sex life is back like it was before. We just need to wait sometimes.
December 12, 2009 - 3:36pmThis Comment
hey yeah i'm going through the same exact thing. but i'm not super old i'm like a senior in highschool. but yeah. we just had sex last night and then he tells me he doesn't want to do it anymore in the morning, than i ask him why, and he says he can't explain it. i asked him if it was me and he said no. we've only been going out for 7 months but i've really fallen in love with this guy. Also last night was a dance, and i'm not sure if he was dancing with other girls. it looked like he did, but i'm not too sure if he really did because my boyfriend is good to me so i'm sure he won't do anything like that. IDK. but i love this guy SO MUCH that just when he says he doens't wanna do me anymore i freak out. so yeah. i really want to get it out of him but he won't tell me. ughh GUYS IN MICHIGAN THESE DAYS !
December 12, 2009 - 12:53pmThis Comment
not to be rude or anything but maybe your just loose for him.
December 9, 2009 - 4:51amThis Comment