This is an interesting question, and I need to put more thought into it...I'll respond again, but my "first gut" reaction is that I do a little of both, honestly! It largely depends on the sitation, but I agree with Kristin: when I am telling my toddler "no" or redirecting his behavior, it is sometimes for me, but that translates often into "benefiting/teaching societal expectations" and "etiquette" that he is too young to understand (or care) about. Other times, I do "parent" with the very conscious decision to teach him something that will help nurture his "self" (can't think of an example right now...)
The other thought I had was on parents "picking battles". I do witness parents at the playground, during playdates, or in a store, who aren't consistent with their kids, perhaps parenting out of convenience in that moment...but we do not know what has happened throughout the rest of the day! I will sometimes pretend I didn't see something my toddler has done, because most of the time it is to get my attention. Other parents who see this interaction may think I am being lazy, but I'm being lazy with a higher purpose! :-)
I would be interested in hearing some specific examples about what you witnessed: that would be an interesting conversation!
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This is an interesting question, and I need to put more thought into it...I'll respond again, but my "first gut" reaction is that I do a little of both, honestly! It largely depends on the sitation, but I agree with Kristin: when I am telling my toddler "no" or redirecting his behavior, it is sometimes for me, but that translates often into "benefiting/teaching societal expectations" and "etiquette" that he is too young to understand (or care) about. Other times, I do "parent" with the very conscious decision to teach him something that will help nurture his "self" (can't think of an example right now...)
The other thought I had was on parents "picking battles". I do witness parents at the playground, during playdates, or in a store, who aren't consistent with their kids, perhaps parenting out of convenience in that moment...but we do not know what has happened throughout the rest of the day! I will sometimes pretend I didn't see something my toddler has done, because most of the time it is to get my attention. Other parents who see this interaction may think I am being lazy, but I'm being lazy with a higher purpose! :-)
I would be interested in hearing some specific examples about what you witnessed: that would be an interesting conversation!
July 1, 2008 - 3:08pmThis Comment
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