Hi Justtrying22,
Thank you for sharing your story, and for joining EmpowHER. You no doubt are going through it right now. You are "in the trenches" (as we say around our house) with taking care of your daughter. Having an infant is incredibly stressful, and can do a number on your physical and emotional well-being. Right now you need a partner you can count on. If your husband is not that person right now, you've got to find a place where you can get the support you need. I'm concerned about you having post-partum depression. I've had it, and I can attest it's no picnic. If your husband is not empathetic to that, I'm sorry. There still is something you can do. I luckily had a husband who didn't realize what I was going through, but knew something was wrong. Mine tried to be supportive. Your husband may have his own things he's going through in relation to being a husband and new dad.
But first things first. Take a break from the drama with your husband. You need to get some support for your own health and the health of your daughter. Call your doctor's office and explain that you're going through some tough times emotionally and that you have no support--they likely will suggest a support group and may refer you to a therapist that you can talk with. They may even suggest anti-depressant medication to help you in your current situation. In cases of Post-Partum Depression, most medical professionals recommend a three-sided approach: talk therapy in a one-on-one format, talk therapy in a group format, and medication. Together, you can work through some of your own issues and get on some solid footing yourself, so you can move forward regardless of the relationship with your husband. However, the goal is, if you get help for yourself, and can get stronger and your husband may experience a turn around in his own behavior when he sees you taking care of yourself. You likely will learn of new ways to communicate with him that isn't hurtful and demeaning, but instead is constructive and adult-like.
What do you think? Bear in mind, we are not doctors or therapists. You've got to do what's right for you. I believe you can get on better ground with your husband, and for yourself too, but you've got to work on it.
Take care, and let us know how you're doing.
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Hi Justtrying22,
March 16, 2011 - 9:03amThank you for sharing your story, and for joining EmpowHER. You no doubt are going through it right now. You are "in the trenches" (as we say around our house) with taking care of your daughter. Having an infant is incredibly stressful, and can do a number on your physical and emotional well-being. Right now you need a partner you can count on. If your husband is not that person right now, you've got to find a place where you can get the support you need. I'm concerned about you having post-partum depression. I've had it, and I can attest it's no picnic. If your husband is not empathetic to that, I'm sorry. There still is something you can do. I luckily had a husband who didn't realize what I was going through, but knew something was wrong. Mine tried to be supportive. Your husband may have his own things he's going through in relation to being a husband and new dad.
But first things first. Take a break from the drama with your husband. You need to get some support for your own health and the health of your daughter. Call your doctor's office and explain that you're going through some tough times emotionally and that you have no support--they likely will suggest a support group and may refer you to a therapist that you can talk with. They may even suggest anti-depressant medication to help you in your current situation. In cases of Post-Partum Depression, most medical professionals recommend a three-sided approach: talk therapy in a one-on-one format, talk therapy in a group format, and medication. Together, you can work through some of your own issues and get on some solid footing yourself, so you can move forward regardless of the relationship with your husband. However, the goal is, if you get help for yourself, and can get stronger and your husband may experience a turn around in his own behavior when he sees you taking care of yourself. You likely will learn of new ways to communicate with him that isn't hurtful and demeaning, but instead is constructive and adult-like.
What do you think? Bear in mind, we are not doctors or therapists. You've got to do what's right for you. I believe you can get on better ground with your husband, and for yourself too, but you've got to work on it.
Take care, and let us know how you're doing.
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