Hi,
It sounds like such an easy solution, but I'm sure it's not. In any sexual relationship, each person is going to have their preferences. You two are not unique in this way, and there is no need to take any preference "personally" as a personal rejection. This is not about rejection, it is about what each person finds sexually satisfying....and this can change over time. Sexuality is not stagnant; it is always changing and evolving. You both can try different sexual acts; one of you might like it, one of you might not. You both might like it with some "tweaks".
Oral sex is one of those preferences that some people like to give, some people like to receive, and some people prefer not to do it at all. Since your boyfriend REALLY likes it, and you really prefer not to perform oral sex...this may be one of those instances where some "tweaking" is needed.
The "easy" solution I was referring to is in the way you two are having oral sex. It seems as though you don't mind oral sex as long as he does not ejaculate into your mouth. Understandable. Nothing to reject and nothing to take personal. Many women and men do not like the warm, sudden sensation in their mouth. You are not rejecting your boyfriend, and he will need to "get over" this excuse. You are trying to please him sexually, and have fun yourself. You can perform oral sex in MANY ways...it does not need to be his one rigid, specific, narrow definition. Oral sex can include hands, fingers, tongue, mouth, light teeth, no teeth, squeezing, pinching, rubbing, scrotum or no scrotum, humming or no humming. It can include talking or no talking. It can include cock rings or other sex toys. It can include the ejaculating inside the partner's mouth, on another body part. The person can either spit or swallow if ejaculation is inside the mouth. Or, oral sex can just be a "teaser" activity that leads to other things, with no ejaculation at all.
I hope I am not getting to much into detail...but do you see where I am going with this? If you enjoy oral sex in most ways, but need to make a few tweaks, then it is irrelevant what your boyfriend expects because of past relationships. Those relationships are just that...in the past. He is with you, a new partner, and I hope he enjoys all of the newness that the relationship brings...including new and different ways to enjoy oral sex...in ways that you BOTH enjoy.
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Hi,
It sounds like such an easy solution, but I'm sure it's not. In any sexual relationship, each person is going to have their preferences. You two are not unique in this way, and there is no need to take any preference "personally" as a personal rejection. This is not about rejection, it is about what each person finds sexually satisfying....and this can change over time. Sexuality is not stagnant; it is always changing and evolving. You both can try different sexual acts; one of you might like it, one of you might not. You both might like it with some "tweaks".
Oral sex is one of those preferences that some people like to give, some people like to receive, and some people prefer not to do it at all. Since your boyfriend REALLY likes it, and you really prefer not to perform oral sex...this may be one of those instances where some "tweaking" is needed.
The "easy" solution I was referring to is in the way you two are having oral sex. It seems as though you don't mind oral sex as long as he does not ejaculate into your mouth. Understandable. Nothing to reject and nothing to take personal. Many women and men do not like the warm, sudden sensation in their mouth. You are not rejecting your boyfriend, and he will need to "get over" this excuse. You are trying to please him sexually, and have fun yourself. You can perform oral sex in MANY ways...it does not need to be his one rigid, specific, narrow definition. Oral sex can include hands, fingers, tongue, mouth, light teeth, no teeth, squeezing, pinching, rubbing, scrotum or no scrotum, humming or no humming. It can include talking or no talking. It can include cock rings or other sex toys. It can include the ejaculating inside the partner's mouth, on another body part. The person can either spit or swallow if ejaculation is inside the mouth. Or, oral sex can just be a "teaser" activity that leads to other things, with no ejaculation at all.
I hope I am not getting to much into detail...but do you see where I am going with this? If you enjoy oral sex in most ways, but need to make a few tweaks, then it is irrelevant what your boyfriend expects because of past relationships. Those relationships are just that...in the past. He is with you, a new partner, and I hope he enjoys all of the newness that the relationship brings...including new and different ways to enjoy oral sex...in ways that you BOTH enjoy.
have fun!
September 5, 2010 - 5:04pmThis Comment
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