Hi Anonymous (-concerned),
Thank for your question and for finding EmpowHER.
It sounds to me like things are fizzling a bit with your girlfriend of over a year, which I'm pretty sure is your cause for concern. You may want to try going out on a real date, and see what happens. Maybe things can be rekindled, or maybe you both need to take the distance that's grown between you as a sign you're in need of good break for now.
In regard to your best friend. I don't envy you there. I've been there, but I was on the other side, I was the girl who fell for her male best friend. On one hand, you may want to see if something more could be there, but then you don't want to wreck the precious friendship you've built--it's the ages-old conundrum. I always thought that if you feel a connection, you've got to check it out, but of course in this regard I may be biased. How do you feel about her? It is something you may want to investigate? You say you love your girlfriend, but sounds like she can be fickle--have you asked her what's up with that? I'm sure your feelings about how she treats you are very justified. Is that what you want? I think the best way to find out if the scenarios are linked is to ask your girlfriend if she's been distancing herself from you because you told her about your friend liking you.
I'm a firm believer that college is the perfect time (apart from your studies), to take the opportunity to date some people and figure out what's important to you in a potential mate. I wish I had dated more when I was in college--I was a serial monogamist (always went from one long relationship to the next long relationship). Hope this helps.
Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
-Christine
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Hi Anonymous (-concerned),
November 1, 2010 - 12:01pmThank for your question and for finding EmpowHER.
It sounds to me like things are fizzling a bit with your girlfriend of over a year, which I'm pretty sure is your cause for concern. You may want to try going out on a real date, and see what happens. Maybe things can be rekindled, or maybe you both need to take the distance that's grown between you as a sign you're in need of good break for now.
In regard to your best friend. I don't envy you there. I've been there, but I was on the other side, I was the girl who fell for her male best friend. On one hand, you may want to see if something more could be there, but then you don't want to wreck the precious friendship you've built--it's the ages-old conundrum. I always thought that if you feel a connection, you've got to check it out, but of course in this regard I may be biased. How do you feel about her? It is something you may want to investigate? You say you love your girlfriend, but sounds like she can be fickle--have you asked her what's up with that? I'm sure your feelings about how she treats you are very justified. Is that what you want? I think the best way to find out if the scenarios are linked is to ask your girlfriend if she's been distancing herself from you because you told her about your friend liking you.
I'm a firm believer that college is the perfect time (apart from your studies), to take the opportunity to date some people and figure out what's important to you in a potential mate. I wish I had dated more when I was in college--I was a serial monogamist (always went from one long relationship to the next long relationship). Hope this helps.
Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
-Christine
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