It is important to communicate your concerns with your boyfriend. Then, it is extremely important for him to respond to your concerns. I understand the "technology time warp", as many people have this problem too...once you get on the computer or video game, it seems as though you have only been playing for an hour or two....and in actuality it has been 6 hours and you are exhausted!
If he is up until 5:30am playing video games, how is he the next day? Does he have to go to work? Is his video game playing habitual every-night, or does he only have certain times that he allows himself to play? If his video game playing is effecting his relationships and other areas of his life, you may need to have a frank discussion with him. Can you try observing his behavior for a few weeks, and take notes about how much he is on the computer, how his mood/attitude is the next day (and, hopefully, you can take note of the nights he actually gets sleep, and his mood may be improved the next day, as in he may be more patient with co-workers or complain less about work?).
He may be trying to avoid conflict, or find video-gaming stress-relieving. Of course it is---there are conflicts that are easy to solve with the push of a button, no real people to talk to that are more complicated and have needs. Is he meeting your other relationship needs?
Basically, in a relationship, both people need to have time to themselves where they can do activities that are not involving the other person. Equally, it is important for both people in the relationship to spend quality time together having fun, and also helping to improve the relationship. I am curious how he feels in the relationship, if he is an equal participant (helps around the house, spends time with you, by himself and with his friends?)
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It is important to communicate your concerns with your boyfriend. Then, it is extremely important for him to respond to your concerns. I understand the "technology time warp", as many people have this problem too...once you get on the computer or video game, it seems as though you have only been playing for an hour or two....and in actuality it has been 6 hours and you are exhausted!
If he is up until 5:30am playing video games, how is he the next day? Does he have to go to work? Is his video game playing habitual every-night, or does he only have certain times that he allows himself to play? If his video game playing is effecting his relationships and other areas of his life, you may need to have a frank discussion with him. Can you try observing his behavior for a few weeks, and take notes about how much he is on the computer, how his mood/attitude is the next day (and, hopefully, you can take note of the nights he actually gets sleep, and his mood may be improved the next day, as in he may be more patient with co-workers or complain less about work?).
He may be trying to avoid conflict, or find video-gaming stress-relieving. Of course it is---there are conflicts that are easy to solve with the push of a button, no real people to talk to that are more complicated and have needs. Is he meeting your other relationship needs?
Basically, in a relationship, both people need to have time to themselves where they can do activities that are not involving the other person. Equally, it is important for both people in the relationship to spend quality time together having fun, and also helping to improve the relationship. I am curious how he feels in the relationship, if he is an equal participant (helps around the house, spends time with you, by himself and with his friends?)
September 12, 2010 - 6:16amThis Comment
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