Silvergirl, I am so glad you found Empowher and have asked this question. I hope you'll find some help and answers here.
I have to agree with Alison's wonderful summary of the situation and with the many points she brings up. You're in a troubled time right now, trying to find some answers to some hard questions.
I am wondering if your husband has asked whether he can take pictures of you while saying it would be a "substitute" for pornography, and if you are thinking that letting him do it would focus his thoughts more on you and less than on the porn? If this is the case, it doesn't sound as though you really believe it would help, and I have to side with you.
You mustn't do anything that you feel is demeaning or invasive to you. As Alison said, all aspects of intimacy between a couple should be private, loving and fun. If you have reservations on any of those counts, then you need to listen to yourself and say no.
Deepak Chopra has said that the answer to everything is in our gut. Regardless of what the question is, we know in our gut whether it is right or wrong for us -- we just have to listen. It sounds as though your gut is telling you no. If that's the case, trust yourself and don't let him take pictures. Because once they're taken, they're taken.
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Silvergirl, I am so glad you found Empowher and have asked this question. I hope you'll find some help and answers here.
I have to agree with Alison's wonderful summary of the situation and with the many points she brings up. You're in a troubled time right now, trying to find some answers to some hard questions.
I am wondering if your husband has asked whether he can take pictures of you while saying it would be a "substitute" for pornography, and if you are thinking that letting him do it would focus his thoughts more on you and less than on the porn? If this is the case, it doesn't sound as though you really believe it would help, and I have to side with you.
You mustn't do anything that you feel is demeaning or invasive to you. As Alison said, all aspects of intimacy between a couple should be private, loving and fun. If you have reservations on any of those counts, then you need to listen to yourself and say no.
Deepak Chopra has said that the answer to everything is in our gut. Regardless of what the question is, we know in our gut whether it is right or wrong for us -- we just have to listen. It sounds as though your gut is telling you no. If that's the case, trust yourself and don't let him take pictures. Because once they're taken, they're taken.
March 16, 2009 - 10:23amThis Comment
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