I empathize with your situation and I entirely understand where you're coming from. My marriage deteriorated fairly quickly as my husband suggested we didn't sleep together any longer due to his disease after we had only been married for like a year and half, so now I think it's been like over 2 years since we slept in the same room/bed together. Now, I don't even think about "missing it", I guess I've conditioned myself or adjusted myself to it, etc. I guess I looked at the side of it being better for me so that at least one of us could get some rest/sleep/peace/calmness. I have to get enough rest/sleep or else it triggers off my depression really badly when I get tired, so I have to be careful with myself (he knows this). So I took it as him being "thoughtful and considerate" of me when he "left the bedroom". It's been that way ever since. I hardly think about it anymore. But I'm not 30 and I had already had my children before I met him, so I'm sorry you have lost this part of your life which would mean so much to the both of you. However, I also recall that my husband and I got married to be together, have a companion/partner/lover/mate as well, even though we were 50, and that is not how it is now. It's only about survival/existence/his disease and adjusting our life to that now. As much as we realize we have to try and "make life as normal as possible", what it really means is just trying to find a way to live with/cope/deal with it as best you can and make the most/best of it and trying to have a good attitude and not be depressed as much as possible, which is what I do; however, I am not a robot and am only human, so I feel crap most of the time. Is that bad, wrong, or my fault? Is it just that I haven't "chosen to be happy"? Well, I'm not happy and I don't know how to get there, so I'm trying to find out. I know I don't want to be depressed all the time, worried sick, feel like I'm in jail and wanting to be released, or be in a victim role, so I fight all this.
Thanks for sharing,
New Nan in Texas.
Comment Reply
I empathize with your situation and I entirely understand where you're coming from. My marriage deteriorated fairly quickly as my husband suggested we didn't sleep together any longer due to his disease after we had only been married for like a year and half, so now I think it's been like over 2 years since we slept in the same room/bed together. Now, I don't even think about "missing it", I guess I've conditioned myself or adjusted myself to it, etc. I guess I looked at the side of it being better for me so that at least one of us could get some rest/sleep/peace/calmness. I have to get enough rest/sleep or else it triggers off my depression really badly when I get tired, so I have to be careful with myself (he knows this). So I took it as him being "thoughtful and considerate" of me when he "left the bedroom". It's been that way ever since. I hardly think about it anymore. But I'm not 30 and I had already had my children before I met him, so I'm sorry you have lost this part of your life which would mean so much to the both of you. However, I also recall that my husband and I got married to be together, have a companion/partner/lover/mate as well, even though we were 50, and that is not how it is now. It's only about survival/existence/his disease and adjusting our life to that now. As much as we realize we have to try and "make life as normal as possible", what it really means is just trying to find a way to live with/cope/deal with it as best you can and make the most/best of it and trying to have a good attitude and not be depressed as much as possible, which is what I do; however, I am not a robot and am only human, so I feel crap most of the time. Is that bad, wrong, or my fault? Is it just that I haven't "chosen to be happy"? Well, I'm not happy and I don't know how to get there, so I'm trying to find out. I know I don't want to be depressed all the time, worried sick, feel like I'm in jail and wanting to be released, or be in a victim role, so I fight all this.
May 20, 2009 - 8:36amThanks for sharing,
New Nan in Texas.
This Comment
Reply