Hi, your situation resonates mine. I met my husband when I was 29 years old and he was 35. It wasn't love at first sight - he seemed a safe bet as I had met some nasty men prior to meeting him and thought he was the best of a bad lot. I was lonely. We planned to marry when I was 30 and he was diagnosed with MS 6 months before our wedding. Like you, I was devastated and didn't leave his side at first. I had huge doubts before the wedding and thought I shouldn't marry him as I didn't love him enough to marry him, let alone someone with such a horrible illness. I did tell him how I felt at the time and his response was that he had enough love for the both of us. We have now been married for nearly 15 years and have a 14 year old daughter. We are lucky in that my husband's symptoms are hidden (slight limp, optic neurosis), however, he has become someone I do not recognise. He used to be positive, occasionally funny, outgoing and decent. I can't say I regret marrying as I would not have my daughter, however, my advice to you would be to seriously consider marrying unless you know in your heart of hearts that you love him 100%. MS is a terrible disease - the personality change is just one symptom to deal with. My husband has become extremely jealous, possessive and nasty. I get that he's frustrated that he can't play golf like he used to or drink with the boys like he used to, however, I feel like he is drowning and he is dragging me down with him as he is trying to stay afloat. He doesn't seem to care about this when I try to discuss it. He comes across as very selfish but maybe he was always like this and MS makes this come out more? Meanwhile my daughter is having counselling treatment and she too thinks she has MS. She is extremely affected by the illness and has said that we were both very irresponsible in bringing her into the world knowing one of us had MS. I hope you look deeply into your to see whether you have the resilience, strength and love to deal with this illness as it's no easy feat. Hopefully, things will work out for you.
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Hi, your situation resonates mine. I met my husband when I was 29 years old and he was 35. It wasn't love at first sight - he seemed a safe bet as I had met some nasty men prior to meeting him and thought he was the best of a bad lot. I was lonely. We planned to marry when I was 30 and he was diagnosed with MS 6 months before our wedding. Like you, I was devastated and didn't leave his side at first. I had huge doubts before the wedding and thought I shouldn't marry him as I didn't love him enough to marry him, let alone someone with such a horrible illness. I did tell him how I felt at the time and his response was that he had enough love for the both of us. We have now been married for nearly 15 years and have a 14 year old daughter. We are lucky in that my husband's symptoms are hidden (slight limp, optic neurosis), however, he has become someone I do not recognise. He used to be positive, occasionally funny, outgoing and decent. I can't say I regret marrying as I would not have my daughter, however, my advice to you would be to seriously consider marrying unless you know in your heart of hearts that you love him 100%. MS is a terrible disease - the personality change is just one symptom to deal with. My husband has become extremely jealous, possessive and nasty. I get that he's frustrated that he can't play golf like he used to or drink with the boys like he used to, however, I feel like he is drowning and he is dragging me down with him as he is trying to stay afloat. He doesn't seem to care about this when I try to discuss it. He comes across as very selfish but maybe he was always like this and MS makes this come out more? Meanwhile my daughter is having counselling treatment and she too thinks she has MS. She is extremely affected by the illness and has said that we were both very irresponsible in bringing her into the world knowing one of us had MS. I hope you look deeply into your to see whether you have the resilience, strength and love to deal with this illness as it's no easy feat. Hopefully, things will work out for you.
February 4, 2015 - 2:25pmThis Comment
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